They were smiling at each other as if this was the beginning of the world.– F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Love of the Last Tycoon (via llbolek)
(Source: mandabookcorner)Via wanderlust
- How much you can make me happy (h) is directly proportional to (t) how much I would always try to make time for you (and make you happy too). h=kt where k is constant (and would never end).
- How many times you’ve disappointed me (d) is inversely proportional to (x) how much I will trust you. d=k/x where k is constant.
- Distance is not an issue. The attention and the time given matters most. Hence, distance = rate x time.
I was ranting to her that I have been eating alone for the past few weeks and I disliked it. Hahahaha!
If you could see yourself through my eyes…..
“I have always wanted to talk to you. I come early for lectures just in case you would come early too, but you were always late. And you would usually sit on the other side so I was never close and never had a chance to talk to you. After lectures, you would disappear immediately. I’m not sure what the rush is but you always seem to be gone immediately when the lecture is over. And I’m glad I finally talked to you a few months ago, but then you disappeared again for your IAP…so I just had to get your number from someone else because I really wanted to talk to you.”
Beri sweet heheheh. (:
- Stomach going to an amusement park, and riding a very thrilling rollercoaster. It’s churning really, really badly and it feels like a never-ending ride.
- Being an industrialized hydrocholoric acid producer. That terrible feeling when you’re only puking out fluid and fluid and fluid, because you’re stomach is so empty yet it’s still being overly generous by producing more acid to be vomited.
- Pain demands to be felt in your chest. Almost like a heart attack, almost like you’re dying but not really (which makes you wish otherwise).
- Fear of eating (because you will worry that the food you consume will only be put to waste because refer to number 2.)
- When you’ve actually had the courage to eat, it’s gonna taste bitter so you might as well not eat.
- Stinging sensation when the acid travels on your throat, and if you’re not lucky enough, through your nose.
- You may want to cry.
“Be patient and do not lose heart" (Dec 14 2013) because “With God, all things are possible" (Dec 15 2013) so ”ask for the impossible." (Dec 18 2013).
Going back to Simbang Gabi nights, this was the message I felt that I received. And up until now, I have been asking for the impossible. And I will wait, because the pain in waiting will all be worth it.
- When she breaks down in front of you, let her be. Let her cry her lungs out, but you have to hold her. It’s okay if you don’t say a word, just hold her. When her sobs stop and when she finally manages to look up, tell her that you are going to sing a song for her, and it’s called All Of Me (because probably that’s one of her favorite songs). You may play it with a guitar, or a piano or an instrumental video from youtube, or you may even do it acappella; doesn’t really matter. And it doesn’t matter too if you have a voice comparable to a frog’s. Haha. What you only need to do is slowly sing the whole song (with feelings, of course) and emphasize on this line: Even when you’re crying you’re beautiful too. The world is beating you down, I’m around through every mood. When you sing, she is gonna laugh at you, but let her since it probably has been awhile since she laughed so hard at something. Enjoy every minute of it.
- Ask her out for dinner and let her indulge on her favorite food (which you perhaps have already memorized). Order a plate or two for her ‘cause she has probably been skipping meals for the past few days. The food would play a part in cheering her up. But the idea of you, reaching out to her through her favorites and showing that someone like you cares would make her feel a thousand times better.
- Call (or text) her unexpectedly in the middle of the day to say “I think you have very pretty eyes.” or “I have a joke and you should hear it.” or “I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.” And trust me, when she speaks on the other line, you would be able to feel her smile through her voice (even if the joke is corny).
- Do your hobbies with her - be it ice skating, fishing, playing really violent computer games, dancing, karaoke-ing, painting, cooking, running or whatnot. Just ask her because she has probably been over thinking about things and she needs to flee from all these destructive thoughts and maybe you can grant her the escape she needs. Of course, she could be bad at it ‘cause it’s not her forte, but allow yourself to laugh when she makes mistakes. And she, I guarantee, would laugh with you.
- Pick her up from school/work and bring a bar or two (if she’s a chocoholic) of chocolates. Then, send her home. She would love the company, she would love that sense of security, and she would start thinking that this lovely act has already made her year.
- Wink at her. She would definitely roll her eyes a second after, but her insides would all be giggling.
- Be clingy. Ask her daily if the depression is gone. Insist that everything would still be fine if her day is not going well. Send her lovely quotes that would lighten up her mood. In no time, you would see her genuinely changing for the better and the happier.
- Or you may scratch all these and just be there for her. Hold her hand and tell her that the world is not as bad as it feels now, because it gets better. Tell her that “there’s a rainbow always after the rain" and also let her know that you are much better than that rainbow because for her, there would always be you before, throughout and after the rain.
- And when she gets better, it would be her turn to light up your world even brighter.
“I love you.” You are a daily reminder that I am loved, I am cared for wholeheartedly. And your words, no matter how many times unravelled, have always been reassuring and comforting. On terribly excruciating days, I find strength and courage from these words – my favourite words. With that, I love you too. I love you for always being there for me. I love you for being able to strengthen me when I’ve felt my weakest. I love you for accepting me for whoever I was and whoever I am now. I love you for making me extremely happy by just being yourself. I love you for all the little and the big things that you have done for me.
“I am proud of you.” I clearly remember the first time you have ever told me this. I stopped playing the piano and slowly walked back to the seat beside you. Your eyes were gleaming in anticipation, thrilled to spill all these words for me. And as you loudly say it, I felt as if everyone in the entire room was grinning with me. You were proud of me before I knew I was headed anywhere. You were proud of me before anyone else was.
Now I hear these five words from different people (perhaps almost weekly) because of everything that I have accomplished, but all these would still be incomparable to that lovely time you told me you were proud of me; because you were proud of me when I was just Kreisha (with no achievements yet, barely knowing what I’m capable of). You were proud of me when I didn’t feel good enough; you were already proud of me when I’ve repeatedly feared making mistakes. And look where I stand now - a pianist who has already worked with so many musicians; a pianist who has contributed to the choirs; a pianist who’s passionate in serving God; a sister, and a best friend who would always be there for anyone – especially you. None of these would happen if you didn’t believe in me. :)
“You make my world brighter.” You made mine brighter too in so many ways. Your unexpected texts about jokes (no matter how corny it is HAHAHA) have always cheered me up on an emotionally-exhausting day. Your enthusiasm has an amazing effect on me, and it has never failed to sprinkle my mood with so much joy. My world would feel incomplete without the sunshine that you always bring.
“I know you too well.” And I would never disagree with this. I find it amazing how you interpret my words – although I have already chosen them carefully; how you see me through my lies – even the lies that I tell myself. You know the different tones of my voice – the happiest one; the one that pretends to be happy; the one that is genuinely relieved that I have you. My words are indeed like puzzles which you have already memorized assembling, and I have always been impressed by how you’re able to decipher everything.
“Don’t be late.” Punctuality – that was my problem. Well, it used to be before I met you. It’s funny how you managed to discipline me without being strict. Initially, I did come late whenever we would meet up but you were so patient with me and your punctuality was so contagious. Haha. And for that, I have to thank you for patiently teaching me the importance of being on time.
“I miss you.” We are miles and miles apart now, unsure when we can meet each other again. It is difficult sometimes to remember that you’re no longer a bus away from me. Oftentimes, I find myself thinking that if you were still here, I’d ask you out for dinner at this moment because I need a good laugh and I have so much to share with you. Our favourite places don’t really feel the same without you. My schedule feels a little bit dull now that it doesn’t have you inside it. I missed how you would always make sure my social life doesn’t die despite my busyness – by constantly making plans with me. Haha. I missed you last month, last week, and yesterday; and I am constantly still missing you. But I know our friendship is the one that can withstand time and distance. :)
Your Best Friend Kreisha